Enough is enough
by Scetchbook123
Summary: Kankri is sick of so many things. Most of all, he is sick of the way he is treated and ignored. He decides to change but is it really for the best? -Sadstuck-


Like normal, I am rambling on and on until finally. "Shut the furrick up! Sorry Kankri. You were getting out of control again." Meulin cuts me off. "No worries. My apologies for going over board." I replies. The thing is. I has been thinking about his speech habits a lot lately.

People always cutting me off to yell. It is troubling to me. "I have to go now." She says and walks away.

Later it happens again, with Karkat as the victim. By the time I get cut off again it is much more crewel "Shut the fuck up! Gog you insufferable moron!" Karkat yells. Kankri flinches at the insult.

He covers it the same as always. With more talking.

Cronus, "Yo! Enough chatter bro! It's getting on my nerves."

Mituna, "Arhwahehahear!"

Latula, "Woah woah woah! Take, a, chill pill."

Meenah, "Dude! Shut your trap!"

By the end of the day almost everyone has yelled at me. Like normal. I sit on the couch in the lounge of the main building. All of the comments catch up to me. Like normal.

I understand that I can get a little out of control with my speech, but if I don't... How will I get their attention? I wear the sweater for my blood color. To show I am proud of it. But for almost several weeks now I have been contemplating what it means. It shows I am related to the sufferer. The signless. But I am nothing like him. I have done nothing as great or brave as he did. I do not deserve to be wearing his blood color. I truly don't.

I hear all of the comments pile up and mix with my thoughts.

"Insufferable" I don't deserve to wear it "Shut your trap!" I am nothing like him... "Shut the fuck up!"

Nothing like him... It echos. "Insufferable moron!" Nothing like him! "Insufferable!"

NOTHING LIKE HIM "INSUFFERABL!" Nothing like him... Nothing... Not. Not like him. Not him... Not him at all...

The cries in my head turn into roaring echos, then die down as footsteps come closer.

I stand up and march to my room before they can ask questions.

I shut the door behind me, being careful not to slam it and alarm anyone. I start pacing until I come to the conclusion If they don't want to listen to me anyway, why should I waste my breath? I wont me yelled at anymore. Yeah. I wont be yelled at. But if I am truly to move on I must not wear my current attire It bothers me so. She sufferer's color of blood, the same traditional high tights. They have to go now. I look through my closet. I don't have anything else. I decide to head to the seamstress available

I knock politely on her door. "Oh. Hello Kankri." Kanaya says. "I hope I am not disturbing you but I was wondering if I could ask a favor of you?" I ask. She nods. "Please come in." she says and steps back. "What can I do for you?" She asks. "I would like to change my attire but I do not have anything besides the style I am wearing now." I answer. "I see. What is it you would like to change to?" She asks. Hmm.. What is it I'm looking for?... "Something simple. No bright colors. Something normal." I answer. "Alright. I am slightly surprised. But it had to happen at some point. Let me measure you." She replies and grabs her tape measure.

After a while, but not to long, she finishes and hands me the folded outfit. "Thank you very much. Let me know if I can repay you in anyway." I say and head out. She just nods as I leave. I quickly walk back to my room to change as soon as possible.. But it seems it is almost time to sleep. I shall reveal the new me tomorrow then.

I wake up at my usual time. I get dressed like normal. But I am sure to remember the new outfit, and the new me. It will take some adjusting to, but it will be nice. I have replaced my red turtle neck and incredibly high tights, with a dark gray long sleeved shirt with a wide neck hole, and some light gray jeans. I walk down the hall calmly, I am heading to the kitchen for some morning milk.

I am greeted right away by Mituna and Latula. "Hey Kankri!" Latula says. "Hey K-kankri!" Mituna says. I look at them, my face doesn't change. "Hi." I reply and open the food vault.

I glance over at them as I pour the milk into a glass, they look confused. Hm. It did not occur to me how they would initially react. A little confused is to be expected though. I sit down at the table with them and drink my milk. "So what's with the new get up? It's pretty rad." Latula asks.

What do I tell them? I can't ramble. They wont listen if I do. And if say the truth they'll pity me.

I have to think fast!... Or I could just not tell them anything. Yes. That is best...

I look at her and tilt my head to the right slightly, as if to ask "what do you mean?" pleasantly. They look at each other again with wide eyes. Well, no one can see Mituna's eyes so I can only assume about him. I have finished my milk, I stand up and put it in the sink. They watch me as I walk out.

Where shall I go now? I suppose I could read a book in the lounge. A nice place to be if someone needs to speak with me. Or shall I say, speak to me. As I will most likely not reply.

I go to my room first to get the book I'm reading. On my way out and to the lounge I get tapped on the shoulder. I stop and turn around. "Kankri can you help me?" Nepeta asks. Hm. It's been a little while since I last spoke with her. I nod. "I want to do something nice for Karkitty but I'm not sure. He freaks out easily so I was wondering if you knew any specific triggers of his?" She explains. It's a shame she didn't ask yesterday. "He never told me any. But he is angry about his leadership and blood. Start with that..." I answer, my tone is flat. She tilts her head in confusion. "Ok... Are you ok Kankri? You seem sad." She asks. "I'm fine." I reply. Part of me wishes I could act like I used to so I can thank her for her concern properly... But I know this is better, and she wont listen to my rambling anyway. No one does. "O-ok." She says and walks away. As I turn around to continue walking I glance at her and see her looking at me over her shoulder. I decide to just keep walking.

I reach the lounge and sit on the couch to read.

…. It's loud in here... Why can't they just be quiet? Gamzee, Karkat, and Sollux are at the other side of the room. They are awfully loud. How can I concentrate on my book with them in here?

I look around the room for a solution. There is a bead on the floor. I pick it up and flick it over to them. It hits the back of Karkat's neck. Right on target. He turns around, "Kankri what the fuck did you just hit me with?" He asks. "A bead." I answer. "And why on alternia did you hit me with a bead?" He asks. He is frustrated now. Probably expecting me to start ranting.

"I would like to read here. You were being obnoxiously loud." I answer. He walks over.

"Kankri are you alright? You should be driving me insane with your rambling right now. And what the hell are you wearing?" He asks. I do not believe he means well. I close my book and look at him. "Well?" He asks. I stand up and glare at him. His eyes widen at not only that I have never been quiet after being asked a question, but also that I never show irritation hardly at all, yet I am glaring at him as if to say that I was insulted.

I look at the other 2 who are standing kind of in shock. I do not blame them. I walk away with my hands in my pockets, holding my book under my arm. I decide to go to my room, it will be quiet in there. I read for a few hours before I finish my book and decide to find something else to do.

I could indulge in a movie. Karkat has plenty so I'm sure I could go to him. Why not?

I walk down to his room and knock. "Who is it?" He asks from the other side of the door.

I don't want to talk though.. I just knock again. I hear him groan before opening it. "Kankri what do you want?" He sighs. I point to the stacks of movies behind him. "You, want to borrow a movie?" He asks. I nod. "Why are you... Quiet?" He asks. I look him in the eyes and shrug.

"Fine, whatever. Take whichever one you want." He says and rolls his eyes. I pick out the first one with an interesting name, 50 first dates. Who has 50 of them? This should be interesting.

I give him a thank you wave and go back to my room. As I walk down the hall I hear yelling.

Mituna comes racing down the hall. "Don't touch meeeeee!" He yells, he looks back to see if whoever is chasing him is gone, but because of this he runs into me and knocks me down. "Fuck!" He yells as we crash onto the floor. "Sorry! S-sorry." He says and begins muttering it a few more times as he gets up. He holds out a hand to help me up, I accept of coarse. Cronus comes down the hall. "Calm down dude!" He yells. He catches up and freezes when he sees our hands together. "Uhhh... Ah! No no no no! We're not- Fuck!" Mituna rambles and lets go of my hand. About time really. I put my hands in my pockets and continue back to me room. They just stare at me as I go. It seems I've had a fairly full day so far. After the movie I think I will go to sleep. Which I do.

I head to the kitchen for my morning milk like usual. In the kitchen I am greeted by some of our descendents Kanaya, Feferi, Terezi, and Nepeta. Looks like the young ladies are having a sort of girls day. Judging by their conversation about movies and junk food I can only assume.

"Hello Kankri. I trust the outfit is to your liking seeing as you are wearing again." Kanaya says.

I nod in approval "Say, could you do us a favor?" Terezi asks with a evil grin. Probably some obscured prank. I shrug. "Could you go on one of your rants to distract Karkles for us? We want to sneak into his room but he is always on high alert with that." She says. I grind my teeth and my arms tense up. The others see this. "No I can NOT." I reply. They all look shocked. I turn to the food vault and pour my milk. This time I take it with me back to my room. I stay in here for a while, I do not have as much to do now that I'm not talking much... I almost fall asleep in my desk chair when I remember I never gave Karkat his movie. I grab it and head to his room. On the way I get bumped into by Porrim. "Oh, sorry about that." She says, I keep on walking and she does to, however I see her pause ahead of me at the realization that I didn't say anything. I continue to Karkat's room. I knock. No answer. I knock again. No answer. I open the door. He isn't in here. Hmm, I lean over the pile to set it back where I found it yesterday but Karkat comes in. "What the fuck are you doing in my room?!" He asks. I hold up the movie and point. "Gog. Kankri why aren't you talking? Your a completely different person!" He says and grabs the sides of my arms. "What happened to you?! Your not wearing the sweater you were always to proud of, your not talking, you barely even show emotion! What the fuck?! Just..." He lowers his head and slouches over so I can not see his face at all.

"What happened to you?" He asks. I clench my fists. It is at this point I am grateful he closed the door behind him. "Do you think I would do this if I had a better option?" I ask, looking down. He looks up at me. I push his hands off and he steps back. "What was wrong with how you were before?" he asks. "Wouldn't you of all people know?! Insufferable moron... Shut the fuck up Kankri, sorry but I wasn't listening Kankri, shut your trap Kankri, no one cares Kankri..." I ramble. I can feel his stare even though I am not looking at him. "I rant so that people will listen, if I don't they I get pushed aside. When I do rant they hate me and don't listen. I can't give my opinion in any other way but I eventually forgot about that, I would go on about triggers because I don't want anyone to be unhappy. I don't want to cause anyone any discomfort. I would get lost in though and think it all quickly out loud but I was trying to care. And still. No one listens to anything I have to say. I always ask about their triggers, but does anyone think they triggered me? That they hurt me? No. They don't because if they did things would be different! On top of that, I am trying to do the one thing everyone always asked me to do and shut up. But now that I am, now that I'm being quiet like you wanted. You want to hear what i have to say?!" I rant. I don't give a crap if he is paying attention right now... No.. I do care! He should hear this! "You know why I changed my clothe? Because I can't wear the blood color of the sufferer. I haven't one anything to earn that privilege I am nothing like him and there fore I shouldn't act like I am. I pretending it was my right, that I was proud to be related to him. And I am, but if I haven't done anything to prove I am then I can't pretend that I am anything like him. You hate your leadership right? I hate that I didn't even try. I didn't do anything, just sat around like a pathetic prick! That's why we lost the game, I didn't even try..." I continue. I think I'm done. But I feel tears streaming down my face. "I think I have a good fucking reason to change." I finish.

He takes a step closer. "I'm sorry Kankri." He says and hugs me. "I should tell you though.." He says as he releases me from the hug. "That headset over there. I was using it to make a memo for everyone to read. And I left it on when I left the room." He says. "You mean.." I start. "Everyone just heard you." He finishes. I clench my fists. "There is a reason I didn't tell anyone you know! I refuse to be the pitied troll for the rest of my existence! Now that that god damn thing off before I throw it into the wall!" I yell. He does as I ask. I storm out, wiping the tears away with my sleeve. "Kankri wait!" He yells from behind me. I have to get back to my room before they get over here...

I hear people yelling my name as I begin to run until I reach my room. I slam the door closed and lock it. I begin to pace quickly as I grip the side of my head. Shit... Someone starts trying to get in.

"Kankri open up!" They yell I hear my wrist communicator beeping. A lot. Oh I can't take it! I rip the watch like thing off my wrist and throw it out the window. Wait. Crap. I forgot to open the window. And now I have a hole in my window. Why can't this just end?!

"RAAARRGG!" I yell in mental pain. "Kankri!" A few people yell outside the door.

I. Can't. Take. It. Look at the window. I mash the rest of it off. I guess it's convenient that my room is so high up... Death may not be the right answer though.. I hear them trying to ram the door down. "Kankri don't do it!" Karkat yells. He knows what I'm thinking about... Well, he hates himself to. I sit in the window, my legs hanging out of the room. I close my eyes and breath deeply.

Do I really want to do this?... A loud smash comes from behind me. They got Equius to help.

I turn around and look at their shocked faces. Karkat marches over unlike everyone else who is frozen.

"Kankri, don't you fucking dare. Just come back inside and let's talk about this." He says. Trying to reason with me. "Pfft. I am sick of talking! You all read the memo! No matter what I do I'm going to be stuck in the same place! I wont live like that! I refuse." I reply. Karkat takes a few steps closer.

I swing my legs back inside. "Can you pass me that?" I ask and point to my red sweater. I step down and he hands me my sweater. I change shirts and I can see the relief on their faces. I jump backwards back onto the window sill. I smile at them. "It's my privilege" I give one last smiling look at all of them before closing my eyes and falling back. Out of the window. I feel like I'm flying... It's so piecefu-

…...

=Karkat's view of the last moment...

I don't think he is really ok yet. But at least the fuck ass isn't going to kill himself. He sits back on the window sill. Uhhh... He smiles at us. At me. Then falls back. I take a few large steps to the window since that is all I need to reach it. I stick my arm out to reach for him, but he is barely to far down.

"KANKRI NO!" I yell at the top of my lungs. I close my eyes and hear a smash. I look down.

Blood is everywhere. But it blends in with his sweater. I guess he wanted to die in his signature, and/or didn't want to ruin the shirt Kanaya made for him. He was thoughtful that way. I begin to sob.

"I can't believe this.. That stupid fucker!" I yell. Everyone else is starting to cry as well. He's gone for good...


End file.
